Ocarina of the SpaceTime Continuum
by EJ Amber
Summary: Parodies of all Zelda games and some crossovers and overall stupidity. First parody: Ocarina of Time Second: Majora's Mask Third? Wind Waker, of course! And much more to come! Well, I did get a review. Now just wait for the end of writer's block
1. Chapter 1

A/N: And here we go. A parody of OoT.

Chapter one:

Link Runs Around In An Active Tree and a Dying Volcano

No.. that's not right… here it is

Chapter one:

Link Runs Around In A Dying Tree And An Active Volcano

One average morning, Link woke up. He decided it was time to run around inside a tree.

"HI MIDO!" he screamed on his way to a tree to run around in. "I'M GOING TO RUN AROUND IN A TREE!"

"No you aren't! I won't let you!"

So, naturally, Link got a sword and shield and that scared Mido so much he let him run around in their guardian spirit, THE GREAT UKED TREE OF SPELLING DEKU BACKWARDS.

His fairy, Ivan, of the spelling fairy names backwards tribe, told him how to open a door.

"Gee, thanks, Ivan!" Link said sarcastically, "Like I care how to open a door!"

"It goes to the boss room."

"Boss? Like the guy that tells you what to do?"

"Yeah, and we have to help the underpaid employees kill him."

"I thought Queen Gohma was a girl."

"That parasitic armored arachnid? She's in Ocarina of Time, not Ocarina of the Space/Time Continuum!"

"…"

"THIS IS A PARODY, IDIOT!"

"…"

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A PARODY IS?"

"No, but you're using Caps Lock."

"**I AM NOT YELLING!"** Ivan stated very quietly.

"Shhhh…" Link said, "I think we're almost to the boss."

"HEY! LISTEN! LOOK!"

"Why are you saying that?"

"That's all I say in the game."

"But this is Ocarina of the Space/Time Continuum."

"Oh."

"Hey, look!" Link started.

"Now you're saying it!"

"It's the underpaid employees!"

"FINALLY!"

So Link shot the boss in the eye while he talked on his cell phone. The boss died quickly and Link walked into a blue circle and picked up a green rock.

"Cool, it's the Irikok's Dlareme of spelling Kokiri's Emerald backwards!"

Then he decided it was time to run around inside an active volcano. First, he picked up a red stone. Then he sat under his Hylian Shield and watched it rain boulders. Finally, he told an owl that he was going to bomb a rock. Then he did and it had a floating lady with strange hair and some kind of ivy all over her body taught him how to spin.

"You're growing up," Kaepora Gaebora said, "now grab my feet and I'll fly to Kakariko."

"NO WAY!"

"You have to, it's in the game!"

"I don't care, I'm gonna jump!"

"Suit yourself."

'HEY! You're supposed to carry me!"

A/N: How was it? too short? too long? too stupid? too serius? review and tell me!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to all ofmy wonderfulreviewers, I have decided to post this chapter sooner than expected.**

**I must find some way to thank you all...**

**Muse: How about... :GASP: ... Answering their reviews!**

**Me: Worth a try.**

**-omnipotent otaku-: there's a good way to be stupid?**

**-Hopeless Maiden-: well, your question is answered in this chapter just existing, so... and yes I will read it again.**

**-Justin Time-: Notes! I'm flattered! I didn't actually _finish_ your story : looks at feet : so, I can't review something I haven't finished, and no, it doesn't make sense to me either why I said fav author instead of fav story, but it was no accident, just so you know.**

**-Peg-: thanks!**

**-Zana Moon-: I figured peeps would like Ivan.**

**-Lord of Pastries-: thanks. and what an interesting name!**

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Chapter Two:

Link Gets A Blue Rock And Dives In The Moat. AND GETS CHERRY SODA!

Once upon a random and unspecified time in Hyrule, Link decided he needed a blue rock. That way, he could sell his rock collection. So he knocked on the waterfall of Aro'z Niamod of Spelling Zora's Domain Backwards.

"DON'T COME IN!" was the answer from inside.

So Link played Saria's Song.

: somewhere in irikok tserof of spelling kokiri forest backwards :

Saria's ocarina began to ring.

"Hello, Saria speaking."

"HI SARIA!"

"Hey, try playing Zelda's Lullaby that's not a lullaby or Zelda's, so I don't know why it's called that."

"Oookaay… bye!"

Link played Zelda's Lullaby and an Aro came and opened the waterfall. (A/N: if you look at Aro'z Niamod, you'll see that the " 'z " is used like " 's " in making possessives so it's no longer part of the word. Sorry 'buot that interruption! Back to the story!)

"Come on in! Ruto got eaten by a fish! Want some sugar? Want some 'Excessive use of exclamation marks' potion? It makes you use exclamation marks after every sentence! It's our most popular beverage!"

Link came in and went to see an Aro on the waterfall.

"Hi! Want to play a game?" the Aro asked him, "If you don't I'll make you!"

"Sure. What's the game?"

The Aro grabbed Link's wallet and threw the rupees into the water.

"GET YOUR MONEY BACK!"

"HEY! What was that for?"

"To make you use exclamation marks!"

Link dived into the water and recovered his money safely. Then he went to get his prize.

"What's my prize?"

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT SOME EXCESSIVE USE OF EXCLAMATION MARKS POTION! IT MAKES YOU USE EXCLAMATION MARKS AFTER EVERY SENTENCE! It tastes like cherry soda when you drink so much you'll use exclamation marks until the end of the story!"

"Make the 'DA DA DA DAA!' stop!"

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT ANOYED! NOYEDS ARE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING!"

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT THE SILVER SCALE! NOW YOU CAN DIVE REALLY DEEP!"

Link randomly went to Lake Hylia and found a letter from Ruto.

DEAR DADDY ARO KING GUY!

I'M IN LORD UBAJ UBAJ OF SPELLING JABU JABU BACKWARDS!

I HAVE A BLUE ROCK THAT I'M GONNA GIVE TO LINK!

THEN HE CAN SELL HIS COLLECTION TO THE TEMPLE OF TIME!

YOUR'S TRULY!

RUTO!

Link showed this to King Aro and kept the bottle it was in. Then, when he went to Aro'z Niatnuof of spelling Zora's Fountain Backwards, Lord Ubaj Ubaj ate him.

"AAAH!" Link screamed as he realized he was being digested.

"WOW, YOU USE EXCLAMATION MARKS! IF YOU GET MY BLUE ROCK I'LL MARRY YOU AND YOU GET THE ROCK TOO!" Ruto screamed!

Suddenly! Ahem… nice cherry soda… ! … A Big Octo decided to fight Link. When Link killed it, he decided to kill a bio-electric-jellyfish named Barinade. When he finished with that he picked up a blue rock and ran to the moat around Hyrule Market.

He was going to dive into the moat when Zelda threw an ocarina at him and ran off.

Then, a Gerudo asked him where

Zelda……………………………………………………

………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………

……………………………………………………

………………………………………………

……………………………… ATE LUNCH! (Bet you weren't expecting that! Yum! Cherry Soda!)

Link didn't even expect that, so Ganondork tossed a tennis ball at him.

"Ouch! Hey, wanna be tennis buddies?"

"Sure! I've always wanted to eat gram-gram's cookies!"

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**A/N: Gram-Gram's cookies... that cherry soda must have had a lot of sugar...**

**R&R please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello there readers andreviewers! How yall doin? OK. Time to thank my reviewers. thanks. OK DONE!**

**Link: you have to take longer than that!**

**Me :grumbling: fine...**

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**-Peg: she's going to break your mom's china. you'd better stop her...**

**-Hopeless Maiden: you are right. well! THAT is AMAZING! I didn't think you'd get that**.

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**Me: on with the story!**

**Link: NOOO!**

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Chapter Three:

Link MAJORLY Oversleeps, Then Meets a Sacred Pizza Guy

A long time ago, Link: Hat wearer of the Hyrule Times, picked up a sword. Suddenly, he decided to go to bed. He slept a long time until his alarm clock beeped. When he woke up Ivan said:

"Bout time! You MAJORLY overslept!"

Link had no idea how long he'd overslept for, so he asked Ivan.

"How late did I sleep till?"

"You slept for seven…………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………

………………………………………

…………………………………………………

………………………………

………………………………………

…………………………………………………. MINUTES!"

(A/N: MINUTES! YOU GUESSED YEARS! ADMIT IT! YOU DID! FOOLED YOU! Here, drink some "Excessive use of Exclamation Marks" potion! DA DA DA DAA! YOU GOT SOME EVIL HYPERNESS POTION! Oookaay….

Readers: uh…. um…. ah….

ME: GRAM-GRAM'S COOKIES HAVE CHERRY SODA BAKED IN!)

"Wow I MAJORLY overslept! That's unthinkably long! I must have grown up in that time!" Link said.

"No, Link." Ivan sweatdropped. "You're reading the script for Ocarina of Time again, instead of Ocarina of the Space/Time Continuum."

"Oh…"

Suddenly, a fat guy in a yellow bathrobe appeared.

"Hey, I'm the Pizza Guy of Light! Here's my pizza! Now go get the other five! You have to go through the other five mazes the Health Nut made! Go beat the Health Nut! He thinks pizza is unhealthy! GASP!"

The guy disappeared and Link stuffed the Pizza of Light into his infinite pocket.

"Link, why don't you go check how Saria is doing? You MAJORLY overslept!"

"Okay Ivan, but I have the strangest feeling I should get a hookshot first."

Link headed toward Kakariko, but stopped when he saw ……………………… ………………………………………………

………………………………………

………………

……………………………………

…………………………………………………………

…………..AN UKED NUT OF SPELLING DEKU BACKWARDS THAT HAD THE WORD "HEALTH" WRITTEN ON IT!

"I guess you're the health nut?" Link said.

"NO! I'm just a messenger from the health nut! You need a hookshot to enter the forest temple! My name is Kiehs of Spelling Sheik backwards! I am a Hakiehs of Spelling Sheikah Backwards! The Shadow people! NOW GET A HOOKSHOT!"

Link went to Kakariko Village and asked Epmad of spelling Dampe backwards, the Gravekeeper's ghost, for a hookshot.

"NOT IF YOU DON'T BEAT ME IN A RACE! WANT SOME CHERRY SODA? WANT TO EAT GRAM-GRAM'S COOKIES? I'M GRAM-GRAM!"

"Uh…."

Link beat Epmad in a race and got the Hookshot.

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT THE HOOKSHOT!"

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT CHERRY SODA! YOU CAN PUT IT IN AN EMPTY BOTTLE! SET IT TO C TO DRINK IT! IT WILL MAKE YOU HYPER!"

Then he went to the Forest Temple and found an elevator that led to a room with walls that spun. He spun the wall so he could get into an empty hall with a door at the end.

When he got in, he found it empty, except for some paintings. So he left. Oops, um, well… he tried to leave but Gannondork blocked his path.

"Hi, tennis buddy! Wanna play tennis?"

"Okay!"

So they played tennis until Link played Saria's Song.

:Somewhere:

Saria's ocarina rang, and she answered it.

"Hi."

"Hi, Saria. look, now's not a good time. I'm playing tennis with Gannondork."

"OK, BYE!"

Saria took another sip of her cherry soda.

"DRINK CHERRY SODA, IT'LL MAKE YOU HYPER!"

:Forest Temple:

Link beat Gannondork at tennis, so Gannondork burned up. Then Saria appeared.

"HI LINK! I'M THE PIZZA GUY OF FOREST! WE CAN'T LIVE IN THE SAME WORLD! I'M GONNA BE A STAINED GLASS WINDOW IN WIND WAKER! YOU'RE GONNA BE A CEL SHADED CARTOON!"

Link was so terrified at the idea of being a cel shaded cartoon that as soon as he had gotten the pizza of forest, he ran away.

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**A/N: i personally liked Wind Waker, but only IN SPITE OF the graphics, so I like to make fun of it. All reviewers will be personally answered and thanked in the next chapter, unless there are too many,but I'll only update if I get at least four reviews, so REVIEW! Two reviews from the same person count as one. SO REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello and thank you for reading this story.**

**And now to thank my reviewers:**

**- : uh... what exactly is your name?**

**-Hopeless Maiden: thanks.**

**-Peg: good, you stopped her. Just don't let her drink cherry soda anymore if that's what it does to her!**

**-Omnipotent Otaku: HYPER DOOM! I see! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! So I guess you like it. THANKS!**

**Now, I guess we're going on with the story.**

**Link: NOOO!**

**Me: MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**Link: No! Please! NOT NABURU! NOOOOO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!**

**Me: Time to get lots of heartburn, Link!**

**

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CHAPTER FOUR:

Link Gets Major Heartburn and Finds His Fiancee

One day in Hyrule, Link went to Htaed Niatnuom of Spelling Death Mountain Backwards.

"HI, LINK! I'M KNIL OF SPELLING LINK BACKWARDS! I'M A NOROG OF SPELLING GORON BACKWARDS!" Said Knil of the Norogs.

"HI KNIL! I'M LOOKING FOR THE PIZZA GUY OF FIRE!"

"THAT'S MY DAD, AINURAD OF SPELLING DARUNIA BACKWARDS! OH NO! HE'S GONNA GET REALLY BAD HEARTBURN FROM EATING AIGAVLOV OF SPELLING VOLVAGIA BACKWARDS! YOU'VE GOTTA STOP HIM BY CONVINGING HIM TO EAT ROCKS!"

So, Link convinced Ainurad to eat rocks.

Then, Ainurad gave him the Pizza of Fire. Link decided he was hungry…

"Oh, look! A pizza!" And he ate it.

"OH NO! HEARTBURN! NOOOOO!"

Link ran around for six hours and then went to Wal-Mart to buy Tums. He waited for it to work for a long time before he realized that they don't work if you balance them on your head. Of course, by that time, he had fallen off death mountain and somehow ended up underwater.

"OH NO! I CAN'T BREATHE UNDER WATER!" Link screamed.

"That's terrible! Here, wear this blue scuba suit!" Said Ruto.

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT THE ARO'Z SCUBA SUIT! USE IT TO BREATHE UNDERWATER!"

"Wow! That was USEFUL!"

"OH NO!" I said, "IT HAS TO MAKE NO SENSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly… uh…

"Oh no! Uh… Link… uh… where is it? I need my All-Purpose stupid writing thing! It's guaranteed to make a story make no sense! Oh yes! Here it is!" I said. Time to use it.

Suddenly a chicken appeared and pecked Link to death. Then a fairy healed him and he picked up a waterproof pizza.

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT THE PIZZA OF WATER!"

"I guess I forgot to tell you I'm the Pizza Guy of Water! Oh, and you're a terrible man, so follow me and lower the water!" Ruto said.

Ruto swam really fast so Link decided just to enter a random door.

**

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**A/N: Four more reviews to get the next chapter. Or I might do it with three if anyone else adds this to Story Alert. Or if it becomes a fav story. Or if I become a fav author I might update with two reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: HELLO, DUDES! WELCOME BACK TO THIS STORY! **

**This chapter is probably either my funniest yet or my least funny yet. I hope it's the first one.**

**Now to answer my reviews.**

**-Justin Time: Well... I forgive you for not reviewing... my keyboard's not so great either. And, I am sorry for not finishing your story, but as I am writing this I am reading it so... YES! Finally done reading it! Just reviewed! BTW, now it's a fav story! And yes, I did steal your DA DA DA DAA! joke... :looks at feet AGAIN: You make me look at my feet alot! IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY! Why do I look at my feet?**

**-Peg: Hmm! Great suggestion! It will play a minor part in this chapter and some more later. coughGannon'sCastlecough**

**-Hopeless Maiden: A plothole. OH NO! THE EVIL PLOTHOLE/BLACKHOLE IS SUCKING ME IN! NOOO! Oh! It's the vacuum cleaner! I'm too lazy to write how he got it.**

**-Omnipotent Otaku: Thanks. Your review popped up just as I am writing this! OMG! I hate now... ON WITH THE STORY!**

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Chapter Five:

Link Smashes A Mirror and Meets A Lamp

Last Time On Ocarina Of The SpaceTime Continuum:

_Link decided just to enter a random door._

- - -

As Link went into the room, he saw a tree and a locked door, but otherwise it was just water as far as anyone could see. Not that there were many people looking.

"YOUR REFLECTION AM I!" Screamed a mirror, "BACKWARDS I SPEAK!"

"YOU'RE MY REFLECTION! YOU TALK SDRAWKCAB OF SPELLING BACKWARDS BACKWARDS!" Link screamed in order to make no sense and satisfy the author. But then he said; "THE AUTHOR KEEPS ME LOCKED IN HER CLOSET!"

I DO NOT!

"YES YOU DO!"

NO, THAT'S MY SOCK DRAWER.

"Oh. Sorry. AAH!"

Link ran from the crazy author and broke the Backwards Speaking Mirror with his Megaton Hammer.

"HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LOOK! GO TO OKIRAKAK OF SPELLING KAKARIKO BACKWARDS!" Ivan screamed.

So Kiehs taught Link a song.

"BYE KIEHS! HAVE FUN BEING A HAKIEHS! BYE!"

Suddenly Link… uh…. I dunno…. Waddid 'e do? Umm… he… uh…

WHERE IS MY OTHER ALL-PURPOSE STUPID WRITING THING?

OH! HERE IT IS!

"HI LINK!" screamed a hot-off-the-press MARY SUE!

WAIT! OH NO! MARY SUES ARE TOO TOUGH TO WRITE!

"HI LINK!" screamed a lamp, "HOW ARE YOU?"

"HI LAMP! I'M GONNA DANCE THE MACARENA NOW! WANNA BOW TO THE AUTHOR WHO IS REALLY PERFECT? AND DID I MENTION HOW PERFECT THE AUTHOR IS? OH NO! THE AUTHOR IS CONTROLLING MY THOUGHTS!"

I AM NOT!

Suddenly Link decided he was a chicken.

OK, MAYBE I AM CONTROLLING HIS THOUGHTS.

"Cluck-Cluck! I AM A CHICKEN! PLEASE REVIEW THIS STORY! PLEASE JOIN ME IN DANCING THE MACARENA! NOOO! THE AUTHOR IS CONTROLLING ME!"

YOU HAVE NO PROOF.

Suddenly, Link started to consume large quantities of radioactive waste.

I GUESS YOU DO HAVE PROOF. I MEAN… UH… I DIDN'T DO IT!

Link ran off as fast as he could, but was hindered by being forced to dance the Macarena.

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**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE! But it's ok if you don't. And I'm not going to ask for more reviews to update, but I will update sooner with more reviews.**


	6. SIXPIZAUVSHADOW

**A/N: Okay! Here is a new chapter to this WONDERFUL/TERRIBLE story. This is probably less funny than the other chaps, but a friend of mine says this chap and the last chap are the funniest in the whole fic, so...**

**Link: WHATEVER!All you're gonna do is make me look like an idiot and then shove me in your sock drawer!**

**Me: yes... sweet perfection... the world is so wonderul...**

**Disclaimer: Link is currently residing in my sock drawer, but... I don't think that counts as owning him... NOOO! blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah...**

**Link: Just answer your reviews so we can go on with this... _thing_!**

**Me: FINE THEN! BUT YOU'RE GONNA EAT MORE RADIOACTIVE WASTE WHEN WE GET HOME!**

**---**

**-Dist2000: Ok, I'm leaving you alone, "d00d"!**

**-Justin Time: NOOO! JUSTIN! YOU CANNOT DIE! THOU ART TO YOUNG TO FACE DEATH! And I'm too hyper to use caps lock... uh... thanks for the review... oh, and by the way, you are _NOT_ going to get my pickled liver... not that it's pickled... you're not going to pickle it either... not that I'll let anyone...**

**-Hopeless Maiden:::gasps, faints, revives, faints again, pours water on self, wakes up, is shocked, does the laundry, plays OoT, and finally decides to answer Hopeless Maiden's review: you don't know what a Mary Sue is, huh? Well, I was in a similar situation myself not that long ago...:bores readers with boring tale: O-Kay! A Mary Sue is a story in which the author adds a charachter that is a lot like them but is loved by all cannon charachters (cannon is charachters that were originally there, eg. Link, Malon, Gannondorf, etc.) and a Mary Sue could kill Gannon better than Link, and therefore Link falls madly in love with her... or Zelda loves him if they're a boy. And there are Mary Sues outside of Zelda. Just try the "All-Exactly-The-Same-Sucked-Into-JakII-Fics" in Jak and Daxter where a girl enters Haven City, is captured by Praxis, joins the Underground, and falls in love with Jak who falls in love with her... some like these stories... some wish they would be thrown to King Dodongo...**

**OKAY! OH NO! I'M MORE THAN HALFWAY THROUGH THIS STORY! I'M REALLY GONNA MISS ALL OF YOU! BYE!**

**Muse: YOU HAVE AT LEAST ANOTHER THREE CHAPTERS WITH THEM!**

**My Dad: You should really stop using Caps Lock. I'm going to continue being too precise with everything and having almost no sense of humor.**

**

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Chapter Six:

Link Finds The Pizza Of Shadow And Kills A Random Drummer

"MORNING, LINK! READY TO LEARN A SONG AND HAVE ANOTHER UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE AT THE HANDS OF AN EVIL FANFIC WRITER?" Ivan screamed, making Link go deaf.

Then Kiehs sang a song.

"I didn't hear that you know!" Link said, "I'm still deaf!"

"Oh."

And Kiehs sang the song again without really caring.

Somehow Link regained his hearing in time to hear the song.

"It's caled the Enrutcon fo Wodahs of Spelling Nocturne of Shadow Backwards." Kiehs said.

So, Link sang the Enrutcon fo Wodahs.

"YAAH! WHY AM I IN THE GRAVEYARD?" he screamed.

OH, COME ON LINK! YOU AREN'T THAT STUPID IN THE GAME!

"This is a parody, idiot!" Link said, quoting from chapter one.

HEY! I'M WRITING IT! I KNOW WHAT IT IS!

"OK! Works for me! Bye!" and Link hung up the phone.

So, Saria killed a wolfos.

"TONIGHT, WE FEAST!" She screamed at the Irikok of Spelling Kokiri Backwards.

Then Link took a boat cruise.

"Hi Link! I'm a random drummer!" screamed a random drummer. And we all know what the title says about random drummers…

Link killed the random drummer and ordered a pizza.

:thirty minutes or less later:

"Hi Link! Have the Pizza of Shadow!" said the Pizza Guy of Shadow. "Protect the princess who is obviously not Kiehs!"

DA DA DA DAA!

"YOU GOT A PIZZA! USE IT WITH C TO EAT IT!"

(Thank you Justin Time for that joke… happy now? Good. Or I'll eat _your_ liver!)

So Link named the deceased drummer Bongo-Bongo.

Then he decided to run off in a random direction.

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**A/N: Review or I'll flame you(Literally. I'll get Volvagia. Or, as Ocarina of The SpaceTime Continuum put it, Aigavlov)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know this chap sucks, but, uh... I hope this is funnier than the last one, but my friend didn't evenget it. (same friend who said the last two chaps were funniest) Hmmm. Just as a miscelaneous thing, I am going trick or treating as Link. Dunno why I said that. But I am.So, uh, to answer my reviews...**

**Link: GET ON WITH IT! Oh, thanks for the short chap.**

**Me: yeah, short...**

**Hopeless Maiden: uh... sorry 'bout that...**

**Boooo Link: I guess it is a spooky time of year. I will keep Link funny. ;)**

**Der Fishing: Hmmm... you are giving me an idea... but I won't reveal it yet...**

**Oh, and, Peg? Your idea is playing a part again. A very minor one, but it is there.**

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Chapter Seven of OCARINA OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM! OH MY GOD! CHAPTER SEVEN! LETS THROW A PARTY!

Link Throws A Party And Gets A Mysterious Gift

Once upon a time, Link threw a party. He sent out invitations to Saria, Kiehs, Zelda, Sheik, Naburu, Kiehs, Kiehs, Zelda and everybody in Hyrule.

So, the guests arrived in the following order:

Zelda, Naburu, Kiehs, Zelda, Zelda, and everybody in Hyrule.

"HI LINK! HAPPY SEVENTH CHAPTER! HERE'S A GIFT!" Everybody in Hyrule said.

So Link opened the present and.

"HEY, ALWAYS WANTED A PAIR OF GLOVES DID I!" Link said.

So, the author appeared and said, "HI LINK! GIVE ME THE MASTER SWORD!"

Link struck some kinda "heroic" pose.

"NO WAY AM I GIVING YOU THE MASTER SWORD!"

BUT LINK… WHY, I'M HURT. I NEED IT FOR MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

"No you don't!"

ACTUALLY, I DO! I'M GOING AS YOU!

"Get another sword and paint the hilt blue!"

OK. finds another sword and paints hilt blue HOW 'BOUT A VACATION IN MY SOCK DRAWER? I KNOW YOU'D LOVE IT.

"Can't you go back to writing that other 'fic?"

I FINISHED IT.

"No, the other one."

OKAY.

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**A/N: the 'fic Link is talking about is a Jak and Daxter 'fic, but read it if you want. It'll be up in maybe a couple weeks.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: this is the last chapter.**

**Um, I have to admit that the party guest list thing... the credit kinda goes to Corad and Bijoux.**

**Disclaimer: if I owned Zelda, she would have black hair. She doesn't. Therefore, I do not own Zelda.**

**To thank my reviewers:**

**Peg: well, this is it. the final use of your idea.**

**Omnipotent Otaku: thanks!**

**Kousagi7Yami: welcome. oh, and a parody is a funny version of something.**

**BrokenChains: The wierdest? you haven't read even 1/2 of what I've read...**

**Justin Time: yup! I am going to be Link!**

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CHAPTER EIGHT OF OCARINA OF THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM 

Link Drops His Tennis Racket And Kills A Pig

"HI LINK!" Kiehs said. "PRINCESS ZELDA AM I!"

So, Gannondork invited Zelda to come to lunch.

Then, Link asked Gannondork to play tennis.

"OKAY!"

Link beat Gannondork, then dropped his tennis racket.

"NOOOOO! LOST MY TENNIS RACKET DID I!"

Then a pig appeared and he killed it.

"Want some bacon Gannondork? Gannondork? Oh no! I ATE GANNONDORK!"

"No you didn't! I just got grounded and I'm not allowed to leave my room until Wind Waker!"

"HI LINK! THANKS FOR NOT LETTING ME STAY IN A GIANT RUBY! Return you to being little now will I!" Zelda said.

"Oh no! I'm a kid!" Link is obviously the stupidest person in Hyrule…

"Hey! HELLO! LISTEN! GOODBYE!" Ivan said. Then Ivan went on a trip that made Link run around looking for a mask for 3 days.

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**A/N: well, goodbye to all my readers and reviewers. I will miss you all. And a special thanks to:**

**Justin Time**

**Peg**

**Hopeless Maiden**


	9. A new chapter one

**A/N: I AM MAKING ANOTHER PARODY IN THIS STORY THING! WELCOME BACK!**

**I was thinking, as I posted the last chap, I was thinking, **_"I am really going to miss my friends- wait! Friends? Reviewers."_**and I then thought about how much all of your reviews have meant to me, and I decided **_"I don't want to not keep this going, I have great reviewers and readers, I am gonna keep going!"_** so I decided to keep going.**

**I know I am now boring you to death but the randomness will not be further delayed!**

**Link: NO! NOT THE SOCK DRAWER!**

**Me: Guess you'll never be free of me Link. What a great world...**

**Now, since I know 3 authors have this on alert, I know that Justin Time, Omnipotent Otaku and Hopeless Maiden will be checking their email and probably fall off their chairs because of the new update and seeing the comp say like that the exciting (i think it is) news of an update to a finished story, and see it say that with no exclamation marks, well...**

**To answer my reviews:**

**Omnipotent Otaku: well, I guess this 'fic will not need to be in your memories, since it is still alive!**

**Justin Time: YES! YOU WILL NOT NEED THAT KLEENEX EXCEPT TO WEEP FOR THE SHORTNESS OF THIS CHAP!**

**Hopeless Maiden: Welcome back to the OCARINA OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM!**

* * *

Okay! A parody of Majora's Mask. 

Chapter One:

Link Looks For Ivan And Gets Turned Into A Bush

One random day in Hyrule, Link decided he missed Ivan. So he got on Epona even though in Ocarina of Time he could only ride her as an adult and he was a kid now.

"Link! Play your ocarina and remember me! Play THIS SONG for the time goddess' help!" Princess Zelda said.

So, Link went on his way and took the ocarina and then he got hit on the head by a fairy.

"Hi Link! I'm the Skullkid! I'm gonna take your ocarina! Now let me turn you into a bush!"

So, Link turned into a bush.

Then a fairy said,

"HI LINK! OPEN THE DOOR!"

So, Link opened the door.

* * *

**A/N: I will make more, if you like this idea.**


	10. 2nd chap 2

**A/N: sobs hysterically I missed you all! you know, when I was updating chap 8, I was so sad, thinking I'd never see you again. So now I am doing this to make up for the half-hearted-ness of the 8th chap and shortness of this and the last chap. HELLO TO ALL OF YOU!**

**I am going to do this strange thing instead of answering your reviews. and it supposed to bash everyone a little.**

**Peg: flips hair back I have Zelda's body! cool!**

**Hopeless Maiden: Cool! I am Link!**

**Justin Time: Oh no! I'm my OC kyle!**

**Me: Well...**

**Peg: is becoming quite vain I love staring at myself in the mirror!**

**Me: you're Narcicistic.**

**Omnipotent Otaku: WHY AM I IGNORED?**

**Hopeless Maiden: I WIELD THE MASTER SWORD!**

**Me: lets get on with the chapter...**

Okay! This is the second chapter two. It is chapter two of this new parody.

Link Sees A Crying Moon And Gets A Ticket To Fly On Deku Flower Air Liner

One day in Animret of Spelling Termina Backwards, Ltat of Spelling Tatl Backwards told Link he had 72 hours to live.

"Link! You have 72 hours to live and then you'll be crushed by the moon!" Ltat said.

"HI NOOM OF SPELLING MOON BACKWARDS! STOP CRYING!" Link said.

"BOO HOO!" said the Noom. Then it cried so much that Link took one of its tears.

"THANKS!" Link said.

"HI! Give me the tear and I'll give you a free ticket for a ride on Deku Flower Air Liner!" A random bush said.

So, Link accepted the offer and accepted the ticket. Then, the bush realized that there were tears all over since the Noom was crying.

YOU REALLY MADE A BAD DEAL, BUSH!

"I DID NOT! WAAH!"

**A/N: really short chap. R&R please! Okay, I am now trying a new review-getting gimmic. If you review this chap before I post the next one, I will put you in a VERY short story in the A/N of the next chap. If you do not want me to, just say so and I wont. But hurry and review! I don't take long to update!**


	11. chap 11 the new chap 3

**Okay! This is the last update for this story until I finish making the first chap of another Zelda humor fic. That one will be up soon. In less than a week.**

**The A/N story:**

**Omnipotent Otaku: (is now being un-ignored because she is now quite noticeable)**

**Everyone: (looks at Omnipotent Otaku)**

**Me: (pouts) no one is noticing me!**

**Hopeless Maiden: (notices my ten-foot-long nails that are painted purple) um… nails that are purple? (becomes Zelda) yay! I'm Zelda!**

**Justin Time: (is now Link) How did I become Link?**

**Omnipotent Otaku: I'm still ignored!**

Chap three:

----------------------

Odollwa And The Goat

Link picked up an ocarina and remembered…………………………….. ………………. …………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………

……………………… TALON!

Then he played the deku pipes even though he didn't have deku pipes….

Finally, he swam in purple grape jam and put a princess in a bottle after hitting a Jungle Warrior on the face.

"Hi Link! Thanks for the princess!" the Deku king screamed.

Then Link met the gorons.

"It's too cold!" said a goron.

So, Link shot a goat.

"YAY! It's spring!" the gorons said.

Then they sang a lullaby and went to sleep.

When they woke up, they said to Link,

"You look like you saw a ghost!"

"That's 'cause I did! It was Inamrad of Spelling Darmani Backwards!" Link said.

"Wow! He's old! He died a long time ago! He was the worst fighter we've ever seen!" the Gorons said.

Then Ltat said,

"DA DA DA DAA! YOU GOT A GOAT'S REMAINS! THAT IS GROSS!"

**A/N: well, review please!**


	12. new chap 4

**A/N: Welcome back! This is a really short chap, so I will make up for that with the "random script format story with my reviewers"**

**Peg: (is on a ferris wheel) how did I get here?**

**Hopeless Maiden: (is in the water temple) I hate this place... OH NO! NOT THE DARK LINK ROOM!**

**Me: well...**

**Omnipotent Otaku: HIYA DUDES!**

**Peg: What is going on?**

**Justin Time: good question...**

**Sparkly Faerie: Where am I?**

**Me: well... um... this is longer than the chap...**

The New Chapter Four:

Link Picks Up An Egg And Talks To A Skeleton

One day in Animret of Spelling Termina Backwards, Link picked up an egg.

"HIYA ZORA GUYS!" he said.

"I CAN'T TALK!" said Ulul of Spelling Lulu Backwards.

So, a turtle turned into a cruise ship.

"Welcome to Turtle Island Cruise! Let's go to the Temple!" said the turtle.

So they went to the temple and Link turned into a fish about 5 million times. Then Link found a mask and talked to a skeleton.

**A/N: Okay, before I end this chap, I would just like to congratulate Peg on her? new accountand say: signed reviews are so fun to write... :winkwink:**

**Peg: is something wrong with your eye?**

**Me: R&R and I will say right now that I am very glad to have such wonderful reviewers and readers and I really appreciate all your reviews. also, this is not the end. i will do some mini parodies of the masks that you get and MAYBE the end of MM.**


	13. BLAST MASK or THE OLD LADY!

**A/N!pahcehtsisiht,llew Well, this is the chap!**

BLAST MASK or THE OLD RANDOM LADY

One night in Animret of Spelling Termina Backwards, Link saw and old lady and a strange random guy.

"Hi strange random people!" he said.

Then Nokas of Spelling Sakon Backwards stole the old lady's grocery bag.

"Oh no! That guy stole my groceries!" the old lady said.

So Link saved her groceries and chased Nokas out of town.

"Oh! Thank you! Here, take this useless mask that will blow you up!" said the old lady.

"Gee thanks!" Link took the mask and put it on his head.

!AAD AD AD AD

"!ecaf rouy pu wolb ot c htiw ti esu !ksam tsalb a tog uoy You got a blast mask! Use it with c to blow up your face! If you can read this you are really smart!" said Ltat of Spelling Tatl Backwards.

So Link blew up his face with the Blast Mask.

**A/N: there will be a few more mask parodies like thisand then there will be Wind Waker. Then maybe some overall stupidity.**


	14. THE MAGIC STEREO

**A/N: here is a new chapter! Welcome people! I am just going to skip the review-answer for this chapter, so... do not be offended.**

**Disclaimer: Link is owned by Nintendo. I am not Nintendo. Therefore I do not own Link. If one does not own Link, then one does not own any of Legend of Zelda. Therefore, I do not own any of Legend of Zelda. I am not making any money off of this, therefore I am not violating copyright/patent laws.**

**My Muse: oh shut up.**

**Link: She doesn't own me? YAY! She doesn't own me!**

Chapter Fourteen. Not that anyone's counting chaps. Or caring.

BREMEN MASK or THE ENCHANTED STEREO

One day in Animret of Spelling Termina Backwards, a strange guy told a bush to go to sleep. Then the bush turned into Link and an even stranger stereo told Link to listen to everything bad that had ever happened to it.

"… And when I was seven I-" it said.

"Just tell me about how you ran away and joined the circus." Link said.

"Okay, when I was seven I ran away and joined the circus. Then I stole a mask 'cause I was mad at a dog."

"And how did that make you feel?" Link said while reading How To Be A Shrink In Ten Seconds.

"Um, I felt like giving you a mask. DA DA DA DAA! Use it with c to make a dog follow you! Use it again to make a chicken grow!"

So Link made a dog follow him. Then he went to a ranch and made a chicken grow.

"HIYA DUDE! Thanks for making my chicken grow! I'm going to give you a quarter of a heart!" said a random guy who likes chickens.

"YUCK! Part of a heart!" Link ate the ¼ heart and then a voice said,

"DA DA DA DAA! You got part of a heart! That is your 4th! Now you have another heart! Enemies can't hurt you now! You're invicible! Muahahaha! Hahaha! You have four hearts!"

Link then ran away to the faraway land of the real world. That was a mistake, since that meant Hyrule could have too much rain. BYEBYE!

**A/N: well, bye! and REVIEW! Just because I didn't answer reviews this chap doesn't mean I won't next chap! oh and the reason this chap took a while for not a lot of chapter is because I was on vacation! It was so great, wish it could have lasted more than a couple days. Now you're jealous, aren't you?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: well, welcome back! This chapter is going to be a rather good one, in my opinion, but in yours it might be terrible so, anyway, welcome back!**

**I will now answer your reviews:**

**-Justin Time-: why thank you, and I'm sorry about school.**

**-Sparkly Faerie-: I will not dignify that with a response. Do not review something just to tell me it's boring.**

**-Blabbityblab-: you must have read Justin Time's story. It's a great one, but it's not updated a lot, so... I'm rather partial to fast updaters.**

**-Paige Fox-: aw, it wasn't _that_ great. ok, maybe it was, but, hey, maybe this chap'll make you feel better.**

**-Omnipotent Otaku-: thanx!**

**Now, before this chapter, I will tell you that there is a random crossover in the last part and that will kind of be a little strange to anyone who doesn't know the random crossover person, but it is not really necessary to know the thing this is a crossover with to get any jokes. Well, actually one, but... anyway, tell me what you think and I might put in another random crossover if you like it.**

THE GHOST OF SOME RANDOM DANCING GUY or A RANDOM CROSSOVER OF DOOM!

One random day in Animret Dleif of spelling Termina Field backwards, Link saw a stage.

"HI!" said a random dancing guy. "This is Circle of Stones Stage! Wanna dance? I can dance! This is how to dance!"

"THANKS!" Link said.

"DA DA DA DAA! You got a random mask that you can't see out of! Wear it with c to dance!" Ltat said.

So Link danced and suddenly a pair of twins who knew the Random Dancing Guy's favorite song gave him a ¼ heart.

"DA DA DA DAA! You know the drill!" Ltat said.

So, Link ate the ¼ heart and then wondered why he had 19 ¼ hearts. And where he had room to keep all of them.

IN THE RANDOM PLOTHOLE THAT ZELDA DOES NOT ADDRESS.

"Aw, I thought you were gonna stay out of this fic! I hate it when you come into the fic!"

SORRY, LINK. IT'S MY JOB TO DO THIS.

"Well, can't your job involve another fandom?"

OKAY, IF THAT'S HOW YOU _REALLY_ WANT IT, LINK.

"YAY! So you're leaving this fandom?"

OH, NO, LINK. YOU JUST ASKED ME IF I COULD INVOLVE ANOTHER FANDOM. LINK? THIS IS JAK.

"YAAH! Why am I here? Are there even any Zelda fans who know who I am?" Jak said, suddenly appearing out of a rift.

"I dunno." Link said. Then he hit Jak with his gun.

"HEY! This isn't JakII! This is Zelda! And he's not Erol!" Jak said.

WELL, FINE! BE THAT WAY!

And Jak left the Zelda universe.

**A/N: yeah, I know, confusing and I also didn't do the A/N story, but I hope you like it anyway! Oh, I really hope someone reads this who knows about the Jak trilogy. Not that it's a trilogy anymore now that there's another game out. Tell me what you think of the crossover, cause if it's good, I'll do more!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen:

THE CROSSOVER THAT KILLED THE ALIENS or BALLOONS THAT ANOPE OF SPELLING EPONA BACKWARDS HATES

One day in Inamor Hcnar of Spelling Romani Ranch Backwards, Jak returned to Ocarina of the Space Time Continuum.

HAHA! I STILL GET TO DO A CROSSOVER WITH JAK AND DAXTER.

"NOOOO!" Link said. "I hate this guy!"

WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO LET HIM KILL THE ALIENS WHILE YOU POP BALLOONS.

"Why am I back here?" Jak said.

"Yeah! Who is he?" Inamor of Spelling Romani Backwards said.

HE'S JAK.

So, the author made Anope of Spelling Epona Backwards hate balloons so that Link got on her and popped them with his bow and arrows.

Then, Jak had to kill aliens until three am when he couldn't succeed.

"Aw! Why can't I win?" Jak said.

DON'T FEEL BAD, I COULDN'T DO IT EITHER.

Then, Link got mad at me for making a Zelda fic has Jak in it.

OH, LINK, WOULD YOU LIKE JAK TO LEAVE?

"YES! PLEASE! THANK YOU!" Link said.

"Finally! Now I get to go back to Haven!" Jak said.

WELL, GOODBYE JAK.

"I hate you!"

I HATE YOU TOO.

So, the Animorphs appeared.

"No! This is a Zelda fic!" Link said.

WELL, I THOUGHT MISERY LOVES COMPANY, BUT SINCE YOU DON'T SEEM TO…

"On second thought, maybe they can stay!"

THOUGHT SO.

Suddenly, Jake started to consume radioactive waste.

"Hey, I thought Jak was gone!"

THIS IS JAKE. HE'S AN ANIMORPH.

"I hate crossovers." Marco said.

"And Marco is?"

ANOTHER ANIMORPH.

Link started to bang his head against the wall.

Then he ate radioactive waste on some chips!

"The evil author is controlling my thoughts!"

I AM NOT.

"Yeah, the author is so wonderful! Much to amazing to be controlling my thoughts! Bow down to her!Aaah! She is controlling my thoughts!"

HAH.

Jak: HEY! Why do I keep ending up back here?

Link: yeah! I hate him!

Fanfiction .net people: SCRIPT FORMAT IS BANNED!

EXCUSE ME A MOMENT WHILE I REWRITE THAT.

"HEY! Why do I keep ending up here?" Jak said.

"Yeah! I hate him!" Link said.

"Script format is banned!" said random Fanfiction .net people.

I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS! I LIKE SCRIPT FORMAT! THERE! I SAID IT! I LIKE SCRIPT FORMAT! OH, SCRIPT FORMAT! WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Random person who runs a mental hospital: Well, how about you come into this nice, padded cell and stop torturing Link?

NO!

"Aw! I really think you should just go and stop torturing me!" Link said.

NO WAY. I AM NOT GOING TO SOME MENTAL HOSPITAL!

Jak: you're crazy enough.

YOU KNOW, RANDOM MENTAL HOSPITAL PERSON, LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK JAK WENT INSANE IN PRISON.

"Oh no! I am absolutely not going to be-" Jak is cut off by beingsent to a mental hospital.

DID YOU LIKE THAT, LINK?

"Yeah. For once I like what you do!"

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO WITH HIM?

"Not really."

OK. SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THIS STORY!

"On second thought, I'm insane! Really insane! Really! Please! No more parody! Please! Aw, this isn't fair!"

THEM'S THE BREAKS. SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!


	17. THE RANDOM CHAPTER OF DOOM!

**A/N: Welcome to the fic! I would like to thank my one reviewer, Justin Time, and say that I will not have Jak in anymore chapters after this one for at least seven more chapters. Or until the Wind Waker parody is over. Whichever comes first. **

**Oh, and the title of this story might change so that it's Ocarina of the Space Time Continujum. Yeah, I put the "j" in there on purpose. But if you don't want me to, review and tell me and I wont! **

**Also, this chapter was written while listening to Bob Dylan, while the other chapters were written while listening to Kris Kristofferson, so it'll be a little different. Like, more dialouge! Did I spell that right? I do not know, and I do not care! **

**Anyway, this is kind of funny so I'm going to tell you that I write most of these chapters while listening to Kris Kristofferson and that means LOTS OF SAD SONGS! Yeah, you would not expect them to help me write humor. Anyway, now that I have proven my insanity, let's see the chapter!**

**Oh, and also this chapter has a small alusion to the Bible in the beginning of it, so if you have a problem with is, just skip that part, okay? Don't say I didn't warn you!**

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THE SCRIPT GETS MIXED WITH RELIGIOUS DOCUMENS or HOW DID JOB FIND HYRULE? or maybe even JAK DOES SOMETHING HEROIC FOR ONCE! or possibly THE CHAPTER WITH TOO MUCH DIALOGUE! or maybe something more along the lines of WHAT IS THE TITLE OF THIS CHAPTER ANYWAY? heck, it could even be THE CHAPTER THAT HAS SO MANY TITLES THAT THEY TAKE MORE THAN ONE LINE! or it could be I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE TITLE OF THIS CHAPTER AND THAT IS REALLY OBVIOUS!

Me: (is headed to you readers with this chapter's script)

Random religious guy: (is running toward me with the Bible in his hand)

Both of us: (collide with each other)

Me: OH NO! I think I have some of the Bible in this chapter's script!

One day in Hyrule, and so God made it rain for forty days and forty nights. Oh, and a random guy from the Bible started to complain about a sea monster.

"Hey! What just happened?" Link demanded.

I KIND OF… MIXED UP THE SCRIPT AND THE BIBLE.

"So… what you're saying is, I have to be religious now?"

NOT REALLY. I THINK THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT.

"Great." Job said while complaining about a sea monster.

"I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT!" Link said.

SORRY. I'LL FIX THAT.

And suddenly, everybody from the Bible was gone.

"Yes!"

UNFORTUNATELY, LINK, I KIND OF LEFT HYRULE FLOODED FROM THE FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS OF RAIN.

"I hate you."

-trillions of years later-

"It's your birthday, GIB REHTORB OF SPELLING BIG BROTHER BACKWARDS!" said Llyra of Spelling Aryll Backwards.

"Yeah, whatever." Said Gib Rehtorb.

Then Llyra gave him a telescope.

"Thanks! Wow! That's a weird bird!" Gib said.

LINK, I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE GIB'S PLACE.

"NoOoOoOo!" Link said. "I was really looking forward to relaxing and not being in a parody anymore!"

SO SORRY, LINK.

"Really? After all you are a wonderful author! No! No more controlling my thoughts!"

HAHA! LINK, YOU ARE VERY FUNNY.

"I hate you."

But, as Link said this, he received a mild-

"MILD?"

Anyway, an extremely painful, mild electric shock.

"What was that for?"

NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT. EVERY TIME YOU SAY YOU HATE ME I'LL DO THAT TO YOU.

Jak: Hey! No way! Wait a minute! Why not just do that to me instead?

OKAY.

Jak: OW!

"Hey, thanks random crossover guy! You did something heroic!" Link said. And he rejoyced for about five trillion years about how Jak was now being shocked a lot.

Jak: It's what I'm here for! I am the Heir of Mar, after all.(returns to Haven in extreme pain)

I THINK THAT'S THE LAST WE'LL SEE OF JAK FOR A WHILE.

"Well, I guess you finally listened to me about the crossovers, but did it have to be right when we were getting to be friends?"

ACTUALLY, I LISTENED TO JUSTIN TIME.

"THANK YOU JUSTIN TIME! You have stopped the evil scourge of crossovers!"

Then, a bird grabbed Llyra and took her to Forsaken Fortress. And the bird also ate a random Seal of Mar, which will be ignored until about twenty billion more chapters pass.

MY, MY, MY, SHE HAS A PRETTY NAME. HERE, I'LL MAKE A RANDOM PIRATE SHIP SO THAT YOU CAN RESCUE HER, LINK!

And suddenly, a random pirate ship appeared.

"Thanks! I'm starting to like you!"

REALLY? WELL, I DID GIVE YOU A PIRATE SHIP AND ALL…

"No, I mean _like_!"

I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, LINK!

"Oh yeah? Well, does that mean you aren't a girl?"

The author suddenly looked like she was about to puke.

OH! YOU HAVE DEEPLY INSULTED ME! THAT DOES IT! I AM TOO A GIRL!

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO DO THAT, LINK? THINK DEEPLY ABOUT IT.

"NO! DON'T!"

THOUGHT SO. NOW, ABOUT JAK. WOULD YOU LIKE HIM TO RETURN?

Jak was now in limbo, so the author could bring him back at any moment! MUAHAHA!

"Not really."

AW, TOO BAD. OH, AND SINCE NOW HE'S THE ONE I'M USING THE ELECTRICITY WITH… WELL, LET'S JUST SAY HIS SITUATION IS VERY SHOCKING!

"Aw! C'mon! Do you have to make everyone miserable?"

YES, IT'S MY JOB.

"Can't your job involve a different-" but Link was cut off by an evil insane author.

DÉJÀ VU! IT'S LIKE, HAVEN'T WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE?

"Yeah! I really don't think I should finish that sentence. Especially considering the guy you brought in after I did the last time!"

YEAH. SEE YOU LATER, LINK!

"BYE! Man, I'm glad you're leaving!"

And, in Haven City Hospital, Jak receives more painful electric current because of what Link said.

**A/N: okay, I am having a little poll here. See, what you have to do is review and tell me whether I should change the title so that the last word is "Continujum" or leave it so that the last word is "Continuum" and also tell me what you think of the fic! But even if you flame and stick the title opinion in, it still counts. **

**Also, I am taking suggestions for if I should make another crossover, and if I should, then with what. But no more Jak for another seven chapters or until the end of the Wind Waker parody! Also, the mask parodies are dedicated to Justin Time and Paige Fox.**


	18. sadklfjlksdjflksdjdc is the name!

**A/N: welcome back! I am so glad that I have so many reviews!**

**Jak: Oh, come on! That's just cause there're a lot of people in the Zelda section. Now if you were writing a fic for _my_ fandom, your reviews would mean something!**

**Link: They do too mean something!**

**Jak: Yeah. That any idiot can get reviews in this fandom!**

**Me: Shut up.**

**Jak: are you going to answer your reviews?**

**Me: no.**

**Jak: BUT WHAT ABOUT SPARKLY FAERIE?**

**Me: oh yeah! I'm not mad at you, and I wasn't for quite a while. Also, yeah, I've never been the best at taking criticism.**

**Link: what about Justin Time?**

**Me: oh! I have to tell you how much I love your 'Favorite Quote' time! I LOVE IT A LOT!**

**Jak: Paige Fox?**

**Me: Oh, right! I don't know the thing you're suggesting as a crossover, so I'll have to do a different one. Sorry.**

**The Crossover Guy From This Chapter: but, you've missed Blabbityblab.**

**Me: Okay, no 'j' happy now?**

**And, I have another thing to say to all of you! Two people said the extra 'j' makes no sense, and I won't add it, but SINCE WHEN HAS ANYTHING I'VE EVER DONE MADE ANY SENSE AT ALL WHATSOEVER? **

**And also, to Paige Fox, who wants to know how to pronounce 'Continuum' it is pronounced kun-tin-yoow-um.**

**And if you want to know how to pronounce 'Continujum' it is pronounced kun-tin-yoow-jum.**

Chapter Eighteen:

Link Meets Another Random Crossover Dude And Learns To Fly

Once upon a time, on Artet of Spelling Tetra Backwards's Pirate Ship, Link was going below decks to get a drink. But, alas, I do mean alcohol, so he was going to a bar that mysteriously appeared on the ship.

"Hi Link! I'm another random crossover dude!" said a random crossover dude.

"I'm Link!" said Link.

'So, did I ever tell you about the time I got hit in the small of the back by a floating cocktail party?"

"I thought the author was done messing with people's lives… cause if she's not, I'll make her be done!"

LINK, THAT WAS NOT MINE. THAT WAS THOUGHT UP BY DOUGLAS ADAMS!

"He has a sicker mind than you…" Link said.

"What about if I tell you about the time my planet blew up?" said the random crossover dude, and by now it should be obvious who he is.

"I suppose that was also thought up by Douglas Adams?" Link said.

YES, IT WAS.

So, the random crossover dude and Link talk about strange things.

"Did you know that I can fly?" said Arthur Dent, who is the random crossover dude.

"No, but I suppose that was also-"

THAT, TOO, WAS THOUGHT UP BY DOUGLAS ADAMS!

"Wow, I never want to meet that guy!"

YEAH, CONSIDERING THAT EARTH WAS MADE FOR LOTS OF RODENTS.

"Did you have to remind me?" Arthur Dent said.

"HEY!" Link said when I dropped him from a very high height.

"I never got the right bag back any time I traveled!" Arthur Dent said.

Link suddenly stopped thinking about falling long enough to register what Arthur Dent said. This caused him to miss the ground andfly.

"I did that once!" Arthur Dent said.

NONE OF THE JOKES THIS CHAPTER ARE MINE! I NEED TO MAKE ONE MINE!KNOCK KNOCK!

Lisa: who's there?

I DO NOT KNOW!

Lisa: I do notknow who

NEITHER DO I!

"That was not funny!" Link said.

YES IT WAS, AND MY SCAPEGOAT FROM LAST CHAPTER THINKS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY THAT!

"Kris Kristofferson does strange things to your mind."

BLAME IT ON THE STONES! BLAME IT ON THE STONES! I'M SORRY, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

"Um… I said Kris Kristofferson does strange things to your mind!"

YEAH. JOIN THE ACCUSATION!

"Oh, stop it!"

MAKE THE SECRETARY CHANGE HER MIND!

Artet of Spelling Tetra Backwards: SHUT UP!

NOT SO LONG AGO IN OKLAHOMA!

"Do I look like I care?" Link ran away with his hands over his ears as he said that.

SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER. FREEDOM'S ANOTHER WORD FOR NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE!

**A/N: this is more random than the Anne McAffrey fic I wrote!**

**Ramoth: it was angst!**

**Me: yeah, but it was random and pointless thoughts layed out in an angsty way!**

**Jak: good point, but at least Lessa/Ramoth is better than me and Daxter.**

**Me: I do plan to write a Jak/Dax fic soon.**

**Jak: I am absolutely not... you know... I don't feel _that way_!**

**Me: what does this have to my fic?**

**Link: she is insane.**

**Lessa: who's insane?**

**Me: I think they mean me. Or maybe your _idiotic_ dragon!**

**Zelda: It's really not a good idea to say that to Lessa.**

**Lessa: (tries to kill me) RAMOTH IS NOT IDIOTIC!**

**Ramoth: I'm bored.**

**Me: all dragons are always bored.**

**F'lar: hey! How did I get here?**

**Me: just read your line, ya stupid Weyrleader!**

**Jak: that's not an insult...**

**F'lar: (is reading from a notebook that his lines are written on.) If you know what that was a crossover with, or just have a good guess, review and the author will tell you if you are right next chapter!**

**Jak: yup!**

**Link: I hate this place...**

**Me: JUST REVIEW!**


	19. cHAPTER !

**A/N: Wow, I took a long time to update! Oh, and here's a random tidbit: if you type 19 with the shift key held down, it's !(**

**Jak: where have you _been_?**

**Me: I've been writing an eight page Dragonriders of Pern poem... Not making much progress on any improvement... I rhymed holder with clutch... so... not so great... anyway, here's the chapter. (attempts to improve poetry)**

**Oh, and if you're wondering who to blame for a long wait, just BLAME IT ON THE STONES! Yeah, too much Kris Kristofferson. Oh, speaking of which, I changed music a few times while writing this, it's mostly the Rolling Stones, with a little Kris Kristofferson and Beethoven (I think I spelled that wrong.) So, tell me what parts you like and what parts you don't like so I know what music is a better muse!**

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THE CHAPTER WITHOUT CROSSOVERS or I FINALLY TOOK JUSTIN TIME'S ADVICE or possibly I STILL CAN'T NAME MY CHAPTERS or even maybe JAK IS NOT IN THIS CHAPTER or it could be THE CHAPTER OF ROLLING STONES INDUCED INSANITY or maybe BEING NAMED AFTER JAK DOES NOT MAKE YOU A CROSSOVER or something more like THE CHAPTER OF RANDOM BUDGET CUTS and another possibility is LIGHTS! CAMERA! STUPIDITY!

Anyway, in a random place, Link was screaming at the author for telling him that his expected vacation was cut short.

I'M SORRY, LINK, BUT THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. I GOT THE REVIEW I WANTED, SO HERE IT IS. I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO THE READERS.

"Oh, come on! Just one review? That's pathetic!" Link said.

REMEMBER MY SCAPEGOAT? HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

"Roar! I hate you!"

Suddenly, a large ship appeared out of nowhere and fell from the sky and squished Link and Artet.

"HEY!" Artet screamed.

"AAH! YOU SOUND LIKE IVAN!" Link said.

So, a random large amount of mixed nuts fell from the sky like Thread.

"Hey! No crossovers!" Link said.

THAT WAS A METAPHOR! WELL, OKAY. I'LL REWRITE IT.

So, a random large amount of mixed nuts fell from the sky like rain.

"Much better." Artet said.

SO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING? PLAY CARDS? EAT LARGE AMOUNTS OF PIZZA? GET SHOT OUT OF A CANNON?

"Okay! I'd love to get shot out of a cannon!" Link said.

So, Link was shot out of a cannon, and was so shocked that there was a cannon to be shot out of here that he dropped his sword on the head of a random bokoblin named after Jak, which, of course, meant he was named Mar.

"I thought you said no crossovers!" Artet said.

HE'S ONLY NAMED AFTER JAK.

So, anyway, Link snuck around and decided he hated mice with weapons.

Artet: EEK! EEK! A MOUSE!

So, Link got his sword back and Mar decided to help him on his adventure and be as annoying as Ivan.

"There are too many musicians in the world that make EJ Amber go insane." Mar said.

BLAME IT ON THE STONES! BLAME IT ON THE STONES! HUH? WHAT? JOIN THE ACCUSATION!

"I thought you were listening to the Rolling Stones while writing this!" Artet said.

I GOT BORED OF WRITING, CHANGED CD'S, THEN WENT BACK TO WRITING.

"So, you were listening to the Rolling Stones, but you changed CD's? To what?" Link said.

TO KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, DUH.

"I hate you." Artet said.

I HATE YOU TOO, BOBBY MCGEE.

"That made no sense." The random bokoblin named Mar said.

"Yeah. The authoress of this fanfic should be sent to a mental hospital." Artet said.

BE CAREFUL NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN FANFICS.

"What does that mean?" Link asked.

Suddenly, Link was hit on the head by and insane author who is trying to destroy all fictional characters by torturing them in parodies until they submit to her will.

"Oh. I see what it means." Artet said.

So, Link and Mar were thrown halfway around the world.

King of Red Lions: HI! I'M THE KING OF RED LIONS!

"A large lump of play-dough is the King of Red Lions?" Link asked.

WELL, WE HAD A BUDGET CRISIS AND IT WAS EITHER THAT OR MAKE YOU SHARE YOUR DRESSING ROOM WITH JAK.

"I TAKE KING OF RED LIONS ANY DAY! YAAAH!"

So, Link had to share his dressing room with Mar.

"Well, that's not so bad."

Then, Link bought a sail for his lump of play-dough.

"Yay! Now we can go to a random active volcano that randomly stayed active and above sea level for thousands of years!" Mar said.

"Well, we didn't need the play-dough for that, since the water is only an inch deep." Link said.

ANOTHER BUDGET CRISIS. EITHER THE OCEAN OR YOU HAVE TO SHARE YOUR DRESSING ROOM WITH F'LAR AND LESSA.

"Yeah… I think I'm glad you chose to only have an inch of water."

ROLLING STONES!

"The author is insane." Link said.

I'M LISTENING TO THE ROLLING STONES AGAIN. SO WHAT?

"Um… so… nothing really, I guess."

So, they arrived at Htaed Niatnuom of Spelling Death Mountain Backwards-

"It's Dragon Roost Island…"

So, they arrived at Nogard Tsoor Dnalsi of Spelling Dragon Roost Island Backwards and found out why it's called Nogard Tsoor. There was a Nogard tsooring on the top. Or, there was a Dragon roosting. Yeah… anyway…

Link decided to stop a cockroach from pulling Oolav of Spelling Valoo Backwards's tail by using a grappling hook that Ildem of Spelling Medli Backwards gave him. This caused the ceiling to fall on the cockroach and the cockroach died and Nogard Tsoor Dnalsi was safe.

Then, Idlem told everyone how Link had tossed her at a wall five times in a row and then she had been able to fly to the top of the island. Then she gave Link a bottle.

"Thanks!" Link said.

Then, Ivan's evil nonexistent twin said,

"DA DA DA DAA! You got an empty bottle! Use it to put stuff in!"

Readers (hopefully this is what you're saying) : HAHA!

Readers (this is probably what you're really saying) : YAWN!

AH, WELL. I ENJOYED WRITING THIS, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T ENJOY READING IT.

Link: WHO CARES!

Jak: I CARE! I'm finally free! Yahoo!

BYE AND SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!

**A/N: R&R please!**


	20. blah blah this is boring

**A/N: WELCOME BACK TO A REALLY HYPER STORY! Here's the chapter.**

Chapter Twenty of OCARINA OF THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM! YAY FOR RANDOMNESS! YAY FOR IDIOCY! YAYAYAYAY! YAY FOR TWENTY CHAPTERS OF ALL THE STUFF I JUST SAID! And especially, YAY FOR SAYING STUPID THINGS WITH CAPS LOCK ON!

Link Runs Around In The Forest And Gets A Pearl Necklace

One random day in Aes Taerg Eht of Spelling The Great Sea Backwards, Link and Mar and the Random Lump Of Play-Dough went to an island with really bad weather.

"Hey! There's really bad weather!" Link said.

So, a bird told them to leave because they didn't have reservations.

"OK!" the King of Red Lions, aka the King of Hyrule said.

Then, they all went to The Island That Is Very Strange That The Author Hates Quite A Lot Because It's Name Begins With The Letter 'W'.

"Hey! It's really dark here!" Mar said.

ANOTHER BUDGET CUT. WE CAN'T AFFORD THE LIGHTING UNLESS YOU ENJOY SHARING A DRESSING ROOM WITH F'LAR AND LESSA WHILE RAMOTH IS IN FLIGHT.

"Eeew. Let's. Get. OUTTA HERE!" Link said.

So. They. Got. OUTTA THERE!

I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT THE DRESSING ROOM! WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS, IT'S EITHER THIS OR WE FIRE JAK.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

NOT UNLESS YOU PARTICULARLY LIKE BEING PUMPED FULL OF DARK ECO.

So, Link decided never to complain about budget cuts again. Except when he actually _did_ have to share a dressing room with F'lar and Lessa, but that's a different story.

"Hi Link!" a Korok of Spelling Korok Backwards said.

This made Link run around in the forest and get eaten by plants that spat him out because he tastes like a video game character. He also picked up a boomerang and killed a plant.

Then, Link threw a party.

Unfortunately, he had to crash his own party by bombing the wall. But it was worth it when a random fish gave him a pearl necklace because now he could give it to his girlfriend, Eutats Tneicna Modnar of Spelling Random Ancient Statue Backwards. When he gave it to her she glowed so much that a tower was built in her honor and Link could sail into it.

**A/N: yay! Review please!**


	21. CLIMAX! As in the end!

**A/N: Well, here's the new chapter! For those of you who know what a climax is, the contents of this chapter may be obvious... for those who don't already know, a climax is an end, pretty much. Sorry I haven't been able to post this, the internet was down for quite a bit, and when it was up it wasn't working so well anyway.**

_CLIMAX_**CLIMAX**CLIMAXCLIMAX**_CLIMAXCLIMAX_**_CLIMAX_**CLIMAX**climaxclimax**climax**_climaxclimax_**climax_climax_**

The Master Sword is a Deus ex Machina?

Link, Mar and the King of Red Lions sailed into the Eutats Tneicna Modnar A Fo Ronoh Ni Tliub Rewot of Spelling Tower Built In Honor Of A Random Ancient Statue Backwards.

Link reached the top with the help of some Ydolem Dnammoc eht htiw lortnoc nac uoy taht seutats modnar. When he reached the top, he found a drummer waiting  
for him.

"You look familiar!" Link said.

"That's because I'm the drummer you killed to get the Pizza of Shadow! And I want revenge!"

So, Link killed the drummer again. Then he jumped up onto a bell and started swinging on it so that it would ring.

He and Mar then jumped off of the tower and sank into a bubble. Inside the bubble was Eltsac Eluryh Nellaf Eht of Spelling The Fallen Hyrule Castle Backwards, along with some annoying red walls.

So, Link pulled Drows Retsam Eht of Spelling The Master Sword Backwards from the Emit Fo Latsedep of Spelling Pedestal Of Time Backwards.

Suddenly, a random voice rang out.

"I am an Anihcam xe Sued of Spelling Deus ex Machina Backwards!" it said. Everyone suddenly realized that it was the Drows Retsam talking. "I am here to solve all of your problems by being lowered down on a crane when you are in a hopeless situation!"

"Wow!" Link said. "You can save us! No more Ocarina of the Space/Time Continuum!"

NOOOOOOO! HOW? HOW DID YOU FIND MY WEAK POINT? A DEUS EX MACHINA IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN DESTROY MEEEEEEEEE!

"I'm not a real Deus ex Machina! This is just a costume!"

And with that, the Master Sword walked off.

YAY! I'M SO HAPPY, I'D CONSIDER KILLING ALL THOSE PATHETIC DEVOLVED MOBLINS FOR YOU!

So, the author got rid of all the moblins.

HEYWAITAMINUTE! NOW I'M A DEUS EX MACHINA!

"That's okay, we won't tell you where to find you,"  
Mar said.

Then, Link and everyone else noticed the fact that something that Saria had said several chapters ago was right- she was a stained glass window!

"I told you so! I told you I'd be a stained glass window in Wind Waker!"

So, Link and the others all sighed.

"Is this story _ever_ going to end?" Link asked wearily.

NO, LINK, NOT UNLESS YOU GET A REAL DEUS EX MACHINA IN HERE. AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT! HAHA! YAYAYAYAYAY!

"I hate you."

I KNOW NOW, LINK, AND I ALWAYS HAVE KNOWN… AND I HATE YOU RIGHT BACK! MUAHAHAHAHA!

**A/N: Tricked you! Admit it- you thought this was the last chapter! Well, actually the last chapter is next chapter, so this pretty much _is_ the climax- the climax just means the end of the plot, really- WAIT! This fic had a plot? NOO! I failed at my attempt to be plotless! OH YES ONE MORE THING PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING: _If anyone would like to make a cameo appearance next chapter, they need only leave a review asking... a few details on what they'd like would help, but I can work without a guide (seeing as I have no plot anyway, lol)._**


End file.
